How do you cure your disappointment?

I have been trying to write about this for quite a while. I found it is a bit hard to write as I try not to offend anyone, especially when you know that you sometimes write based on the immediate event that happens around you. Some people, if they care to read my blog, might think it is personal and it is about them. Somehow the point of reflecting in this blog is more about me expressing thoughts that I have, rather than talking about people.

Anyway, I, as a normal human being have had the experience of feeling disappointed or being let down by people. No matter how many times I told myself to separate the feeling from professionalism, I still somehow get to feel it. I tend to blame myself and guilt trip myself to feel it was because of me and my own fault. I think disappointment relates closely to our expectations. We expect positively and think that things will go our way but then the opposite happens.

I try as much as possible to do things without too much expectation but with positivity. But I always fail when it is involves other people. You always want to believe that what you give you will get back. But it will never be that simple. What you give, you might not get back straight away but you might get it back later on after feeling down and depressed. Going through the moment of feeling down and depressed is the hardest part and somehow you need to pull yourself together and keep moving forward.

I guess the best way is just to keep going. Face the difficulties, face the problems even when you think you can’t. Even when things seem so dark and overwhelming. Keep pushing yourself and have a tiny understanding that time will heal and problems will be solved!

PS: easy peasy to say but difficult to do 🤭

What have I learnt since working from home?

It has been more than a year since the first lockdown was announced in Malaysia. We were forced to work from home. It was a new concept for many people at that time, but by now it has started to feel normal. I initially found it a bit difficult to adapt, but now I feel more relaxed and easy to work from home. Here are some reflections on what I have learnt so far:

1. Things can get done

First and foremost, I think that working from home makes me feel anxious about whether or not work can be done. Can I accomplish and focus on finishing paper work? Can I hold a meeting or a discussion? Can I calculate and tabulate data? I think it can be done once you get used to it. The environment was different, as I was living on my own before (until my sister joined me), and the home work place environment is now different. However, if you focus and prioritise, you can get your work done! I guess it must be different for people who live with family and children. The challenges are greater, I guess.

2. Set your own work place in your home

Now that you know working from home might be here for quite some time, I think it is better to set up your own work place in your house. The work place can get you to be more disciplined and ready to start doing the work. Go to it to write a report, join an online meeting or manage files. It is better to know where is the right place for you to do the work and get it done. It's like getting to the office but your office is at home!

3. Managing Expectations

This is so important for you to put in your mind. Getting things done from home rather than being at the office like before is definitely different. Whereas before you could easily gather a team physically during office hours, but now it might be harder to gather people online as you need to check the availability of others. I think the mindset need to be clear and ready for any interruptions by things that are out of your control, for example, internet connection, device issues and so on.

4. Being flexible and less bureaucracy

It is definitely the right time to check again on things that we can be more flexible with and with less bureaucracy in the work place. If we were working as usual, there are forms that need to be filled. Maybe this time around certain things can be approved via email. Maybe certain things do not need to be as strict as before when things were unnecessarily difficult.

5. Checking on others

Last but not least, I think as much as we need to work from home and stay at home, do not forget to check on one another. Ask your colleagues about their well being physically, mentally and about their situation at home. You never know what people might need even though they appear to be fine in the video conferences. Be kind and help people in need as well. Reach out if you are the one who needs help!

PS: A year passed by and we all learnt so much.

You always want to be something

You always want to be something

Something to be remembered

Something to be recognised

Something to be acknowledged

 

You always want to be something

Something important

Something crucial

Something dominant

 

You always want to be something

Something special

Something interesting

Something certain

 

You always want to be something

Something in the centre of attention

Something people seek for

Something ad-hoc

 

You always want to be something

Something there

Something that exists

Something included

 

You always want to be something

But something does not define you

You define You

Be YOU

5 Tips to ADD FEAR OF MATHEMATICS to students that should be AVOIDED

Teaching and introducing mathematics to students is challenging and if approached wrongly, we might increase fear of mathematics. In general, mathematics is often considered difficult to understand and requires an understanding of mathematical concepts.

Here are 5 Tips to ADD FEAR OF MATHEMATICS to students that should be AVOIDED 

1. Teach completely verbally without any practical

Mathematics subjects, if only taught verbally, will definitely have bad consequences. That is why this subject needs practical explanation. If you want to understand the basic concepts of mathematics, you also need to see how to do it - the practical side of it. Simple example: When we learn to count 1 to 10, at least we use our fingers as tools to help us understand. 

2. Teaching once is enough

Is teaching the students once enough for them to understand maths? What do you think? If you show something once to your students, you may only let them be able to know but not understand the concept thoroughly resulting in them forgetting what they have learned. Teaching mathematics needs to be repeated with various forms of questions and methods. Just teaching something once to show them the way to solve mathematical problems is not enough. An important note to remember is that there are many ways of getting the answer to mathematical problems as long as you are creative!

3. Being strict and fierce with the students all the time; not chilling at all in the class

One thing to keep in mind when teaching mathematics is the relationship between teachers and students. The subject of mathematics is difficult already, so try to avoid adding to that difficulty by becoming too fierce. Please relax and chill a bit. Just because your students get it wrong, why does it make you angry and scold the students?

4. Giving many exercises

It is true that students need a lot of exercises to be proficient and remember what they have learned in mathematics. But giving too many exercises can become a burden to them that hinders them to even like the subject. You have given them some exercises that can be completed in class, so some relevant number of exercises to be brought home as homework should be enough. Sometimes, when the students cannot finish the homework given to them, they will be afraid of going to school the next day! - talking from personal experience.

5. Not allowing students to make noise and discuss in the class!

If students discuss with their friends how to solve maths questions during class, is it wrong? Is it noisy for you? Is it irritating? What if there are students who learn through discussing with friends? What if they talk to each other to solve the problem given to them? Remember, learning activities also occur when students socialise. Sometimes through discussions among themselves, understanding can be nurtured. So, you can encourage them to discuss and do group work as well.

PS: sometimes it's not about the subject but how you introduce it

Teachers can be the best planners!

Planning is an important skills to have in life. Whether a simple daily activity or a complicated event, you need to plan wisely and accordingly to make sure things go smoothly.

Teachers are lucky because every day in their life, they practise planning. Every day before entering a classroom, a teacher needs to know what to do in the classroom. From the first until the last second that they have in a class, a teacher needs to picture it in their mind and on paper. The planning that teachers do is very structured and objective. They want to achieve certain goals at the end of the teaching and learning or, as they are called, learning objectives. 

The planning sometimes is very detailed and at micro level. For a 40 minutes lesson for example, a teacher can divide the time into a few stages and make sure that every stage caters for certain objectives. Each second is important to use wisely as you know that how fast 40 minutes can go by. The first five minutes to do an introduction, another 15 mintues to teach the main content, the other 15 minutes for exercises and last 5 mintues to summarise and end the lesson.

Some teachers even plan what instructions to use, what keywords to highlight and what teaching materials to be used to make sure the students learn. Teachers do this planning every day and for many times depending on their timetable for a particular day. They have the opportunity to plan and write down the plan everyday. They 'play' with planning everyday, they have plan A, B and C to make sure the objective is achieved. How can we not say teachers are the best planners?

Not just with that micro planning, teachers also plan at a macro level where they plan their class for a quarter year, half year and what to achieve in that particular school year. Not everyone has the opportunity to plan as much as teachers. I believe the skills of planning can definitely be mastered by the teachers as it is part of daily routine. The skills then can be used and applied to other things beyond classroom planning.

Planning is not easy if you have no experience in doing it. You might not be able to see what will happen during the actual time and the impact of what you do if you do not have the skills of planning. Lucky you, teachers!

I think my experience as a teacher helped me a great deal with planning. I am glad that I have exercised planning a lot before and this has helped me in my current position.

Ps: always a teacher inside

Stay Home, Stay Safe!

It has been 14 days since the Malaysia Government decided to implement the Movement Control Order starting 18 March 2020 to fight the pandemic of Covid-19. Covid-19 has impacted the whole world and is making everyone worry.

I am on my own in my apartment doing my part as a responsible citizen. It was my final week working at the Ministry of Education and I should have started working at my new department the week after, but I am here at home! I think its is very important to follow the guidelines and advice at this crucial time to avoid human contact and to be hygienic. The guidelines sound simple to do, but are not as simple to carry out.

I guess we are used to having human contact and interaction, suddenly when we cannot do it, it is something challenging. Everyone needs to stay at home at the moment and, as simple as it sounds, it gets people bored and stress. When a normal day is not normal like we are used to, we tend to complain and some started to break the rules.

I think that the best way is to look at this is as a war in which we are each a fighter. The enemy is not to be seen by the naked eye but is always out there ready to fire when we are not ready. With being at home alone or with family, we are fighting the war with the best weapon that we have. But, once we leave the weapon, we might get hit by the enemy at any time. Look at it that way; look at the time spent in your home as the best weapon to fight the evil virus. You might think that your responsible action of staying at home does not give any impact to fight Covid-19; but you are wrong. Your action can safe many lives! We can do it!

I decided to spend this time focusing on my writing and translating. While enjoying trying new recipes; keeping in touch on the phone with family and friends and also watching some TV series and doing exercise (trying my best to do 30 minutes a day).

Let's all do this. Give our best to fight the virus by staying  at home and avoiding human interaction. We can do this!

PS: Stay strong everyone!

After every storm, there is a rainbow

AFTER EVERY STORM, THERE IS A RAINBOW

I always neglected how meaningful and powerful this quote is. I guess it is just normal for us not to look at the positive side of something happening in front of us. We tend to look at the problem more than the solution. We tend to focus on the difficulties rather than the result. Just as the real storm, it's hard and dangerous to go through the storm either u walk, run or drive. We might find a shelter and wait until the storm stops. Then suddenly the colourful rainbow appears, everything that has been bothering us is gone and wiped away. Appreciate.

It has been six months since I started to work in Perlis Education Department. i really feel comfortable to work in the area of education and find it is the right place for me at the moment to build my experience on the things that I am familiar with and see how this will change and extrapolate my knowledge and skills.

So much stress to keep up, so much energy to push out with so much travelling and overwhelming knowledge to absorb. Yet, I am still standing here, trying my best to hold everything up and I really appreciate the experience that I have now.

PS: the struggle is real

The weekend I have been waiting for

This is a weekend update. The weekend that I have been waiting for... The weekend that I can just lay down and be lazy...haha... There are some assignments that I need to do and worry about but let them just be there somewhere in my mind for a while.

I am in the middle of the new module now - Government Administration and Public Policy Management. This module, I think is fact based and formal. I find it is a bit hard to absorb the facts and remember everything.Plus, the assignment that we need to do are difficult and lengthy - 3 assignments of writing and presentation.

Anyway, at least I am happy that I passed the previous module and got quite good results for the first 2 modules. Such a relief. Now, I just need to focus and make sure for this module, I will pass as well. 

Leadership - another important word that we need to learn and experience while being here. I thought that my aim to just be simple and easy for this 10 months, will run smoothly. But it seems like somehow everyone here will go on the cycle of experiencing leadership. Whether on a big scale a big, like leading a group of people or on a small scale leading just a number of people during the class. All of this involves leadership. I used to worry a lot when this happened. Mostly, I worried about being the person to be judged. You know, when you become the leader, you are open up to judgement by the people - positively or negatively. And to be honest, you just need to gp for it. It is a process of learning. Hopefully I will be able to look at it as a bigger picture and through the view of a bird flying high in the sky...haha easier to say than to do. 

Hopefully, everything will go smoothly and well!

PS: I miss the past but I look forward to the future!

...differently...

I sometimes can't believe how time flies... So fast...

now, it is already the end of my second semester as a lecturer. Being here in higher education institution  was never expected. I have enjoyed the time that i have had here. Yeah, full of opportunities to learn as well as full of challenges that sometimes exhaust me.

The part that I think is really important for me to grow myself, is the part that understands that learning will always take place in human lives. Wherever we are and what ever we do, there will be something that we will learn. big or small the learning curve will still happen.

I sometimes doubt the steps that I will take or even I have taken. I guess it is just my personality. Doubt and scared about everything I do but I will still do it! haha....

This semester i learnt that as much as you want to give to people, not everyone wants to accept it. We see things differently. We react differently. What is important to me, might not be important to you. What is meaningful to me, might be useless to you.

Anyway, that is just the reality. Hard truth

PS: next steps? btw, thanks for the very the late birthday celebration! haha

...questions...

Am I not trying hard enough or am I trying too hard? Am I being hard on myself or am I not being hard on myself? Have you ever thought about this?

Sometime when I want something that I really really want, I do not get it. But then when something comes along that I did not put any thought on suddenly it becomes mine. Have you experienced this?

Then you keep looking at the things that you did not get and your feelings of appreciation towards the things that you received start to fade.

Is it okay to feel that way> Or is it wrong to feel that? Is it okay to keep looking for something that you want and forgetting about the thing that you already have?

Is it greed? Or is it materialistic? Or is it just human nature? Are we always look for something more, bigger and new? Will our needs ever be satisfied?

Something to ponder I guess. No right or wrong as per usual. Life is life. It comes to you when you least expected.... If you know what I mean... :)


PS: How is 2016 treats you so far? Quite a good start for me...let's see!

Does the shoe fit you?

Every time I move to a new place, these questions start to ring a bell: Will I survive here? Will it fits my needs? Will I be able to fit the place's needs?

I believe that you never know know until you try to be there and experience it on your own. Rather than listening to other people's advice only, you are better off getting to know it on your own. When you go shoe shopping, I believe you will try them first before you buy them right? Of course you can just buy shoes according to your size, but later when you get back home, you start to realise that the shoes do not fit you well! I bet you do not want that to happens...

I think in reality we need to do the same as well. But of course in real life, it takes more

than just a pair of shoes to be wrong about. There are a lot more consequences that might happen to you. But better to try than never. Better to know the real things rather than to know things based on assumptions.

I think sometimes you just need some courage to dive deep and get to know the underworld. If there is nothing there, then get ready to go up again. But if there are pearls inside, collect as many as you can... just don't be greedy... aha...

Okay I am actually not so sure why I am writing this. But I am sure that something is bothering me lately. Something that leads me to think this way/ Actually, I like like it because somehow it makes me think positively and motivate myself to keep trying!

PS: Wah! New Year coming soon! 2016! #GoodbyeMrLaurie

You find your happiness in different ways

Sometimes you might be thinking about the way you do things and the way that things happen to you. The decisions that you made or the decisions you did not make. Will they give you happiness? Or will they bring you sadness?

Guess what? Always remember that you will find your way soon. In different ways from other people. Happiness is so subjective so no one knows what makes other people happy. You might be happy about something but someone might be sad because of the same thing.

The problem is when the community sometimes forgets this. People expect that happiness of individual relies on the same matters. Let say, if one person is happy to start a business, then do other people need to start a business too? If a person is happy to be in love, the other person needs to be in love to be happy as well? If a couple is happy to buy a new house, the other couple needs to buy a house too?

It might be right at some point that we need what we need in life, but it is not necessarily to be at the same time. take your time and don't let others decide for you. You should know what is better for you and focus on that. I know it sounds easy but it is not easy at all. Pressure from the people around you can become a headache.

Okay, I'm not sure what else to write because sometimes I also have the same pressure. When I decided to do something else and it did not fit the community, it started to feel difficult. As much as I can focus on my aims and objectives, I try my best! Luckily I have family and friends who always support my decisions! Fuhhhh...


PS: Still enjoying ketupat and biskut semperit!

I thought I was special but actually I am ordinary

There is no easy way to get what you want (or maybe there is ...aha). Even when you have what you want, you still need to make sure that you can secure it, or you might lose it!

just cross the bridge to find your way?

Then there is no easy way for us to keep trying? I guess so. Even on the day that we thought we were so lazy, actually we still struggle to just be lazy! aha...at least that's what I feel!

As long as you live, everyday is a new day for you to battle. Battle with your own self and desire, battle with the situation, battle with the surroundings and so on!

So no matter how weak you feel sometimes or how strong you feel on the next day, there will always be a way! Somehow, there will always a way. Even though you think your heart is broken. Even though you think that your mind is not capable to think anymore.

There will always be a way! I am ordinary in my own way! haha

PS: Ramadhan, why do you need to go so quickly?

Things not working out?

Things not working out?

Does this question sometimes play on your mind? Like when sometimes you think and plan something and things started to fall apart. You started to question whether there will be a light at the end or will things be ruined? You want to control things around you as much as you can but you know what? Things seem to be out of control...

Will this make you stand strong or will it melt you away? Will it make you stand tall or will you cry a river?

I'm actually not sure how to respond to this question myself. i always try to be strong as much as I think I can. Sometimes I manage to look strong from the outside but am so vulnerable on the inside. It's like a wave of tsunami inside me that is ready to destroy everything on the shore...

mak bagi tapau untuk sahur :)

But  then I guess different people just deal with their problems in different ways. Some people find solution just a second away from the problem and some find it only after searching it through the mountains and jungles! I believe that things might not work out sometimes they way that we want. However, there will be other things, other ways that will come along to help us deal with the situation, as long as we keep searching for it. You know what? No one goes along easily in this world anyway. We just need to try our best to make the best of it....(I guess...ahaha)

For all people who struggle to hold things together, physically, mentally, emotionally or whateverly (aha) ... Yes! That's it! Go for it!


PS: Okay, my mind is talking a lot, as per usual... (imagine a lot of smileys here)

Stay calm, easy and cool!

OK... It's time to write a bit... I guess every now and then I will think about what will happen to me over the next 10 years. I believe you do the same sometimes right? I  sometimes wonder what other people are thinking and what is on their mind and to see whether the same things appear in my mind, appears in them.

Back to the topic, I sometimes worry about what will happen. I wish I had a time machine or a YouTube channel of me in the future that would reveal what will happen. Whether my life will be miserable or will be good. Whether there will be successes or failures all the way? Whether I am in Malaysia or in other alien countries?

So many questions to ask but yet so little known. The only thing I know for sure is that what I decide now, will definitely affect what will happen to me in the future. It comes back to making a decision. There is no right or wrong decision but thinking wisely and deeply about it and the effect will be good for anyone right?

So I plan for something today, work for it, hope that it will come true. But at the same time I know that many other possible results can happen. Sometimes just when you think that the plan will go smoothly, at that exact time it hits you that 

Stay calm, stay easy, stay cool - how to stay positive all the time though? ahahaha!

PS: remembering my grandmother and grandfather xxx

not so bad...

I know that to think about something that had not yet happened in a negative way should be avoided. It can create stress and give us big problems. So easy to know and notice about something like that but it is so difficult to stop from doing it.

I always think that things will turn out bad for me in certain incidents. Then, I started to freak out and think that there is no way out for me. I guess it is a habit. Like a bad one. But sometimes when I think properly about it, it is kinda good!

Bad when you are in the midst of thinking but good when you wake up the next day finding out that it is not as you thought it would be. Such a lot of energy to be wasted and lose then again when you know that it was not so bad, then you gain like a new energy and start moving on again.

Ahaha...I know this is quite complicated to explain. So, I believe that to think positive is a better way. I am definitely not so crazy as to suggest that you think negatively about something and then learn from it. Only certain people fit with this kind of habit! And maybe we should be proud of it and be patient about having the negative thoughts.

Patience is the key I guess. Certain things that you can't control, you cannot do anything about them. Certain things are just meant to be vague and unpredictable. So, when you start to want to figure it out, you end up disappointed!


PS: While sitting in an open area in UiTM Shah Alam - waiting for friends to find me! aha

The result of the poll

Okay, last week I put a poll about Life through my eyes T-Shirt. I received quite a number of responses. Thanks a lot everyon e that participated in the poll. Amazing!

So, here's the result!

Yay! I'm going to wear the T-shirt soon ...ahaha... now it is time to survey the best place to order! Next time if I'm invited to your school or talks, I'm going to wear one! ahaha

PS: Takde kerja! Gelak sorang-sorang! kah3

Give your feedback please, you amazing people!

Why?

Sometimes people keep asking me why I chose to change my career from a very safe and secure job to the private sector. The question keeps going on and on every time I meet with new people who happen to know about me...

Sometimes i don't know what to say. It is hard to explain. people just don't understand sometimes...I guess...

But the thing that I'm very sure about is that I want to experience something new in my life. Put myself in a new place and environment and see what happens...

things are not going to be easy but then easy is only a starting point. you play video games right? You always want to go to the difficult level and it might be like this for me as well! ;)

Carpe Diem!!!

PS: There is an article about my second book and the journey of Life through my eyes in the Malay Mail! Read it here

The bridge that gets me thinking

I have just started a new habit that I hope will last a long time...walking in the night time! Working from 9 to 6 everyday kind of makes it hard for me to do many activities that can keep me active and feeling healthy. So, I decided to start this new activity, just to make sure that I can maintain good health...hopefully.

Tonight, while walking alone and enjoying the warm of the night time and the less busy traffic in the main city of KL, I saw an over head bridge connecting one side to the other for pedestrians. It is build for safety reasons for people to cross the busy road, especially as there is a school on one side and a big community settlement on the other.

However, every morning and evening when I drive past the bridge, I see people who prefer not to use the bridge. People, including school students, prefer to cross the road rather than to use the over head bridge. I am not sure why, but maybe it is quite far to walk to the bridge and hard work to climb the stairs to cross.

This kinda makes me think... I guess that is the nature of us human beings. When there is no bridge, we demand a bridge. When there is a bridge, we say that it is easier to just cross the road even the traffic is crazily busy. Until suddenly something bad happens (hopefully not), then it hits us. Only then we realise the perks of having the over head bridge to cross the road! We human beings always needs reminders, I guess...

PS: please be safe...please...