Do you understand the meaning of love?

Is love something you feel, something you hear in songs, or something you see in films and read about in stories? Or is it something we express so often without truly understanding what it means?

I do not know.

Perhaps love means something different to every individual. What I understand about love may not be the same as what you understand. Our experiences, circumstances, and journeys through life shape the way we see it. Even our own understanding of love may change as we grow older.

For one person, love may mean presence and attention. For another, it may mean freedom, trust, or simply knowing that someone cares. Some express love through words, while others show it through small acts of kindness that may go unnoticed.

Yet, there are also people whose understanding of love has been shaped by painful experiences. Those experiences may influence how they understand and receive affection. But does something become love simply because someone calls it love? Can affection be used as a reason to hurt, control, or frighten another person?

I do not think so. We can try to understand someone’s experiences without justifying behaviour that causes harm. Perhaps there is a difference between what someone believes love to be and how they choose to express it.

So, when someone says, I love you, what do they really mean?

Are they expressing affection, a desire to share their life with someone, or a fear of losing them? The words may be the same as those spoken by someone else, but the feelings, intentions, and understanding behind them may be different.

And that is where I begin to wonder. If we use the same word to describe something we understand differently, are we actually talking about the same thing?

Perhaps we often expect others to understand love as we do. We want to be loved in a way that makes us feel loved, even though the way someone expresses affection may not necessarily be the way we receive it.

What we consider important in love today may also change in the future. Our experiences reshape our perspectives, and things we once believed may eventually carry a different meaning.

If our own understanding of love can change, how can we be so certain that what we understand today is the only correct interpretation?

I do not know. Perhaps I am overthinking something that is meant to be felt. Or perhaps I am simply trying to understand something that has no single answer for everyone.

We all know the word love. We hear it in songs, read it in stories, say it to someone, and perhaps have heard it from someone else.

But do we truly understand the same thing when we say it?

Perhaps the question is not simply what love is, but what we really mean when we say that we love someone.

Because perhaps we all use the same word without necessarily giving it the same meaning.

I still do not know what love is.

And perhaps I do not need to have the answer just yet.

I started this blog back in 2009, which means I have more than 15 years of stories, experiences, photos, thoughts and random things that I have written down over the years. I never really thought of it as a collection of content that I could reuse one day. It was simply my blog. I wrote something, published it, and then moved on to the next thing. But now, when I go back and read some of those old posts, I realise just how much I have actually written and how many stories are still worth sharing.

Before Threads, I did try to explore other ways of telling these stories online. I thought about doing more on TikTok and YouTube, and I did try to get myself into that space. But I realised that I am quite self-conscious about being in front of a camera. Writing has always felt much more natural to me. I can sit down, think about what I want to say, and tell the story in my own way without having to worry too much about how I look or sound on camera. Somehow, Threads works better for me. It still allows me to tell stories, but in a way that feels much closer to what I have been doing all these years.

That is probably the part I have been enjoying most about Threads. I can go back to an old blog post, pick a particular story from it and retell it in a much shorter and simpler way. Sometimes I add an old photo or video, sometimes I change the way I tell the story, and sometimes I write it in BM instead of English. The original blog post remains as the longer version, while Threads becomes another way for people to discover the story.

It is also quite nice to see people discovering things that I wrote many years ago. Some people who come across my Threads posts probably have no idea that the longer version has been sitting on my blog for years. The same goes for my books and some of the things I have done in the past. Things that felt like old stories to me can actually be completely new to someone else.

I suppose this is also a form of reflection for me. Going through old blog posts means going back through different periods of my life. There are stories about places I have travelled to, things I have done, people I have met, work experiences, thoughts I had at a particular point in my life and plenty of other things that I had almost forgotten about. Sometimes I read an old post and think, “Oh, I remember this.” Other times, I wonder how it has already been so many years.

In a way, the blog has become my own repository of memories, information and experiences. And after all these years, I am starting to realise that I do not always need to create something completely new. There is already so much here. I can simply look back, find something interesting and give it a new life in a different format.

Of course, I do not know how long I will remain this enthusiastic about doing it. Maybe at some point I will get lazy or lose interest in posting on Threads. That is always possible. But for now, I am actually enjoying the process. I like looking back at things I have written, finding stories that I still think are worth sharing and seeing people discover them for the first time.

Maybe that is one of the unexpected benefits of having kept a blog for so long. You keep writing because you enjoy writing, but years later, you realise that you have also created a huge archive of your own life. And sometimes, an old story just needs a slightly different way of being told before it becomes a new story again.

For now, I will just keep writing here and whenever I find something interesting from the past, I will probably share it on Threads too. After all, I have 15 years of material to work with. Might as well make use of it.

If you are interested, you can also find me on Threads⁠, where I have been sharing some of these stories in a shorter format.

From 23 to 26 September 2026, I was in Port Dickson attending a programme on communication, language and leadership. It was a pretty packed four days, with sessions covering leadership identity, communication, emotions, trust, influence, conflict, reframing and even official writing.

Some of the sessions were quite interesting, especially the ones on how we communicate with people and how easily we make assumptions. One of the things we learned was to ask questions first instead of immediately making our own interpretation of what someone says or does. It sounds simple, but I realised how often we do the o

There were also quite a few activities and role plays throughout the programme, which made it less of a typical sit-and-listen kind of course. I actually enjoyed the opportunity to discuss things with the other participants and hear how they approached different situations.

One of the highlights was actually on the final night. We were quite lucky because the KSU of KPT, Dato’ Ts. Dr. Haji Aminuddin Hassim, joined us for the evening. He spent some time with us and shared some of his experiences and tips on how to be successful in our careers. One thing he said that stuck with me was to stay positive and always look at the bright side. Nothing particularly complicated, but sometimes it is good to be reminded of something that simple.

And of course, being in Port Dickson meant I had to make some time for the beach too. 😄 I managed to do a brisk walk along Pantai Bagan Pinang, almost an hour going and coming back. So at least there was some exercise in between all the sitting, listening and talking.

Overall, it was a good four days. I came in expecting another work-related programme, but ended up learning quite a few things that I can probably use both at work and in dealing with people generally.

Now back to work. 😅

P.S. Four days went by much faster than I expected.

A few weeks ago, I was asked to be the MC for a ministry event involving Malaysian students who were preparing to further their studies overseas, particularly in the Middle East.

Honestly, I was a bit nervous at first. It had been quite some time since I last emceed an event, but after being asked a few times, I thought, why not? Just grab the opportunity and go for it. And I did.

The event went quite well. Of course, there were a few small mistakes here and there. I mispronounced a few names, and the programme changed along the way. But what I was most happy about was how I handled it.

I didn't panic.

I stayed calm, paid attention, adjusted when I needed to and just tried to be as professional as I could.

Maybe it sounds like nothing much, but for me, it was quite meaningful. Sometimes, you don't realise that you've changed until you are put in a situation that used to make you nervous, and suddenly, you're okay. The event eventually ended quite late, around 6.30 pm.

Then, one of the students came back to me. He told me he really admired the way I handled the event, and that he liked my voice.

Just one person. But somehow, that one compliment meant a lot to me.

We often don't know how people see the things we do. We just do our job, try our best and move on. So when someone takes the time to come up to you and say something nice, I think it's worth remembering. To that student, thank you.

I really appreciate it. And I hope you will continue doing the same. If you like something someone does, tell them. A simple compliment might mean much more than you realise. I hope you will be successful in whatever you choose to do.

And for me, I guess this was another little reminder that sometimes, progress isn't about doing something perfectly.

It's about staying calm when things don't go exactly as planned. And sometimes, one compliment is enough to make your day.

P.S. And yes, a little thank you to the AI tools out there too. 😂 I've been using them quite a lot, especially to organise my thoughts and make writing a little easier. Still my thoughts, just with a little help putting them together. 😆 

With people we rarely meet, we choose our words. We are polite. We make an effort.

But with our family, siblings or close friends, maybe because we are too comfortable, we sometimes become rude, impatient or simply careless with our words.

And yes, I am guilty of this too.

Maybe it is because we know these people will still be there. We become comfortable enough to forget that even the people closest to us can still get hurt.

I have felt that way too. Sometimes, when someone I consider close treats me differently, I wonder why they can be so nice to everyone else but somehow not quite the same with me.

But then again, I remind myself that I am human too. Maybe I have made someone feel the same way without realising it.

So, perhaps this is just a reminder to myself: being comfortable with someone should never become an excuse to stop being kind.

It has been more than two months since I joined my new department. Everything felt new at first, but slowly, the people, the routine and the work are becoming familiar.

And I guess that's good.

Life keeps moving. New things become normal. Hopefully, as I settle into this new chapter, I can also become a little better at appreciating the people around me; especially the ones who are closest.

Because sometimes, the people closest to us deserve the nicest version of us too.

P.S. I guess being close to someone means they get to see the real you. Just remember not to make them regret getting that close. 😅