While I was walking into the school, looking at the empty building, the classrooms, canteen and the school decoration, they all overwhelmed me. The emptiness and quietness of the environment gave me chills. I could feel my own heartbeats very clearly and that suddenly turned my tears on! I was almost crying and stopped walking.
Then I started to realise that I miss teaching. I miss school. I miss students. I miss the school system. I miss teacher colleagues. I miss active teaching and learning. I miss the feeling when the students are hanging on to you. I miss the ability to inspire the students directly. I miss thinking about what to do next in the class. I miss seeing the students' eagerness to learn. I miss seeing some naughty students waiting to be scolded! I miss everything!
I guess I have tried to avoid this feeling for a while. I have pretended that I am always OK with moving on to try something new. I have tried hard to ignore the beauty of becoming a teacher in a school. I guess this is the time I need to admit the feeling and accept it.
I am glad to feel this way although it makes me feel uncomfortable. At least it makes me realise that teaching is something that makes me excited! Even though I am now not a teacher in a school, I am still a teacher in my won way. Life is full of surprises and surprises make us have something to look forward to in the next chapter of out life. Isn't it?
I think it is good to feel what should be felt. Missing the school is something good for me to realise and feel. Sometimes feeling demand to be felt! I guess! (Kinda quoting from a famous novel - if only you know what I mean).
Don't misunderstand me though. I love what I am doing now with my new job and roles. It gives me so many opportunities in a different way to make a wider contribution to education. But I realise that actually being in a school gives teacher so much opportunities - to connect, to build and to foster relationships - the emotional side of working directly with the kids.
PS: Thank you to those bloggers and readers for messaging me asking for new entries :) You have made my day! Look forward to receive more messages from all of you.